Welcome your tears

For the longest time I was feeling embarrassed if my tears enter a conversation or a situation. I was feeling that this shows lack of control over my emotions, a weakness I wanted to hide in a corner. Emotions really start flooding my eyes at weddings or if I watch a feel good movie. I almost never miss an opportunity to tear up. My family usually looks at me at the end of a movie and we all know the moment when I would be all in rivers of tears.

I am not embarrassed any more, because I have accepted that this is just a part of me. If I hide it, it would not be who I am any more. It feels liberating to let it out at the moment they want to come. As Jefferson Fisher says, sometimes your emotions come in liquid form. No need to hide or owe any apology or explanation.

In arguments, often people would assume that my tears come as a kind of strategy to weaken the other person or evoke pity. Having seen his video, I no longer feel the pressure of what other others would think. Following his suggestion, I just started naming them as “tears of joy” or “nostalgic tears” or “tears of being misunderstood”. It is a beautiful re-frame which has allowed me to be more me.

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